Author: mike
What I Learned About Christmas This Year
Thursday, December 27th, 2007 @ 8:40 pm
It seems like I learn something new every year around the holidays. This year was no exception. In fact, I learned quite a bit this year.
- There are precisely 22 trips involved in dragging out my Christmas decorations.
- There are 22 trips involved in putting them away.
- Lights that were carefully wrapped up and stored in January will come out of the box in knots.
- They won’t work.
- While trying to make them work, it is possible to put the wrong light in the socket.
- When the strand starts working, that light will glow with the intensity of a small nova.
- A small nova produces enough heat to burn a hole in the carpet.
- Melting carpet will activate the smoke detector.
- Hours spent decorating the tree to perfection can be undone by a single cat in under 5 minutes.
- The dog does not destroy the tree.
- Dogs > cats.
- 10 inches of snow followed by 60 degrees and rain makes the ground soggy.
- Soggy ground and high winds are not conducive to keeping yard decorations.
- The neighbors don’t seem to mind stray inflatable decorations in their yard.
- Dragging decorations back across the street in 40 mph winds sucks.
- It is possible to maintain an itinerary that involves over 1000 miles and 16 stops with 100% accuracy.
- It involves very little sleep.
- And even less beer.
- And lots of gas.
- Gas is expensive.
- No one at the last stop minds if you fall asleep on the couch.
- Sleep is good.
- Being the permanently designated driver is not fun.
- Watching 2 brothers who haven’t seen each other in a year and a half reunited on Christmas morning makes the rest of this crap seem pretty pointless.
March 24th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
I just wanted to say that I love this site